ReNe: 7 months -- regarding activity

Ryan's a lot more active now. He used to sit on his own and play for a while, which was very convenient. However, recently he has been exhibiting an even greater interest in things around him as well as those beyond his reach. He would push himself off his bum into a half-kneeling/crawl position so as to reach stuff, though since he can't crawl yet, he'd either manage to pull himself back up or end up on his front.

It's great he's terribly curious. But it's also very tiring for us.

This grabbiness of his makes everything so much more difficult. Sitting on his high chair, he'd try to swipe for the nearest things, such as the table, wall, kitchen door, or kitchen cabinet doors. When changing him on his floor mat (it's just a quilt laid out on alphabet foam mats), he would lunge to the sides to pull up the quilt and then pull up the foam cut-out letters. Or he would lunge for the crib.

So far we haven't exactly baby-proofed the apartment. But I think, not too long now...

ReNe: ice skates?

Toying with the idea of buying ice skates...

I know how to skate, a little, both on land and ice, though the last time I've been on skates of any kind was in Singapore. I've always thought that while living in the Great White North, I'd have plenty of opportunities for winter sports -- I had planned to skate, to learn to ski...

I have done nothing. The first winter, I was too busy settling into my new job and simply settling into Toronto. Second winter, I was pregnant.

Augh. But we just bought a new microwave yesterday cuz our previous microwave died, and the new oven costs more than I hoped it would have cost.

ReNe: stunt baby

Ryan had a big adventure last night.

But, backtracking a little, the eczema on his face was flaring up last night, so before we went to sleep, we applied some cortisone to his face and bound his arms with a swaddle cloth. The cloth is folded in a long strip and placed under his back. Then the ends goes around his arms and are tucked in again under his back so his body helps to keep the cloth in place. Recently though he has been getting pretty good at escaping --- if he arches his back to lift his weight off the cloth and if he yanks his arms out at the same time, he can pull himself free. Apparently, that was what he did.

I woke up sometime around dawn to his crying and got off the bed to attend to him. Luckily I opened my eyes instead of stepping out blindly. When I sat up opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Ryan, on the floor beside our bed! He was lying on his back and bawling away, arms held out in his 'pick me up!!' position.

His crib is located on the other side of the room and there's a tall shelf in the middle of the room, as a room divider. To get to our bed, he would have had to free his arms from the swaddle cloth and his blanket (which was tucked in around him), push himself off his crib (which was about 40cm off the floor), and somehow crawl and make his way around the shelf to our bed (perhaps about 2m in total distance).

Most amazingly, he hasn't learned how to crawl yet. Not even an inch. He isn't even good at turning himself over. So how the heck did he get all the way from his crib to our bed?!?

Maybe the monster-under-his-crib carried him over... *cue dramatic music*

He must have squirmed a lot since the top few snaps on his sleeper were opened and his left arm had slipped out. Plus, he must have spend quite a bit of time on the floor since he was pretty cold. After picking him up, I fed him and tucked him into bed with us. It would have been too cruel to put him back in his crib after his monumental effort. When I tucked him in between our pillows (so we can't roll onto his head), while half-asleep, he immediately spread his arms out in an 'X' position. It was obvious he hates to have his arms bound...

We had joked about his stubbornness, but last night's Big Escape puts that trait in an entirely new dimension.

ReNe: first snow of the season

Last year the first snow fell on 21 Oct, so this year, since October, I was expectant.

It finally flurried a little yesterday, tiny bits of snow that melted as soon as they land. Turned out, this is the first snow-free November for Toronto in over 160 years, since the weather office started keeping records in 1937 in fact!

Coming from a tropical country, I found snow terribly exotic. The first year in Toronto, I got very excited every time there was a snowstorm, and I loved seeing the city blanketed in white. Now, lots and lots of snow later, I still like a good snowfall. Even if the clean-up's pretty expensive and we do end up paying, literally, for it later.

ReNe: santa claus parade

Took a quick look at the Santa Claus parade today. Though we arrived late, we were just in time to catch the last few floats and the finale, the Santa Claus float. It's just as well; Ryan's too lightly dressed to stay outside (his stroller) for long. (His stroller has a sleeping bag-like thing that keeps him quite warm.)

ReNe: ryan the roomba snail

Ryan has never sat on a hardwood floor before, but tonight I put him on the floor for fun.

He looked interested at the new perspective and was examining the floor. Then, he discovered that if he pushed the floor, he'd scoot backwards. He'd push, move back about 1cm, then look up expectantly with a huge grin. When we clapped and cheered, he'd laugh and look extremely pleased with himself. Sometimes he didn't push properly and hence he didn't move, but he would look up expectantly anyway. In this case, we didn't clap, and he would wait for our claps, cheering and aughing himself on anyway.

Speaking of roomba, I checked his pants after I picked him up, but fortunately I vacuumed the floor earlier so his pants weren't dirty. But he did leave a trail of drool as he pushed himself along...

ReNe: warm fall

Fall temperatures this year are higher than last year. I remember walking home one day in late October and it was snowing. The flakes were tiny and melted as soon as they hit the ground, but it was definitely snowing. This day last year, we went to catch the Santa Claus parade and it was, again, snowing. I remember feeling very, very cold, and ducking into a Tim Hortons for a warm chocolate.

In contrast, it hadn't snowed yet this season, and the temperature for the past couple of weeks have been hovering in the low teens. It's rather nice, actually. Cool and brisk, but not bitingly cold.

ReNe: 6th month ped visit

We brought Ryan to the pediatrician yesterday for the rash on his face and for his 6th month vaccinations as well.

He's been having a rash on his face for the past few months, but it was just a smallish patch. Then in early October, he scratched his face and the next day, his face turned red and swollen. It was clearly an infection, and he was prescribed an antibiotic cream. It got better after a few days, then it got worse again. Recently, the rash became really bad; the patch on his right cheek was weeping so much plasma that it dripped down his jawline and ear. Yesterday, the doc prescribed another antibiotic and recommended that we apply both the antibiotic and steroid creams together; the former to control the infection and the latter, the inflammation. Yes, steroid creams should not be used for too long, which was the reason we stopped it some time back, but the doc said it was more important to bring down the inflammation.

Then we weighed him (8.1kg) and Ryan got his vaccinations. One thing we noticed about Ryan; he has a pretty high pain tolerance. Whenever he falls over (from a seated position), even if he hits his head, he doesn't cry for long. Once we pick him up, he usually calms down within a few seconds. It's the same for vaccinations — he'd wail when the needle goes in, but in a few minutes, he's all right.

Having fun before the nurse called us in:

Sunset

A nice way to cap off the weekend, spent taking a lot of pictures. I don't have the exact count, but I think I easily exceeded 1200 pictures over those two days. We were at the local big box mall, to get Ryan some diapers, and as we were walking in, we saw this:

Photos galore!

I'm guessing that followers of this blog, if there are any left—you stalkers (I kid! I kid!)—will probably have noticed these pictures in the photostream page applet on top. Still, the object of this blog is not just to show pictures, that's what the flickr page is for. This blog is for telling stories, and while there is no neatly packaged story to tell here today, I suppose this can count as the latest instalment of the stories of our lives.

First bit of news is that we have been feeding him solids quite regularly already, as mentioned earlier. He has tasted apple, pear, carrot, rice, oats, banana, sweet potato, and now, his favourite: avocado. We mash the food portions up in a marble mortar and pestle, and sometimes we add a bit of pear nectar to sweeten and water the paste. Mealtimes are his favourite—he gets to sit up on his high chair, and get to taste all sorts of interesting foods. He'd start out all clean and enthused, arms outstretched and sitting up, like this:

And after a few mouthfuls, he gets animated, tries to tell us how much he likes the food and about the time when he went out and had a lot of fun, his hands will wave about:

As the meal progresses, he gets messier and messier, with food all over his mouth as he mumbles, and plays with his food, blows bubbles, and starts leaning forward and generally making it hard for food to enter and remain in his mouth. Eventually, he winds up like this:

And then we get the pleasure of cleaning up after him. While the plastic bib works very well in catching food and preventing him from folding it up to taste the drippings, he is also very adept at spewing food away from the bib. So we have to clean the high chair, the floor, and of course, his mouth, chin, and neck. Not surprisingly, this whole process takes the better part of twenty or so minutes, which is amazing given the amount he consumes.

You'd probably notice in the pictures that his cheeks are still badly rashed. It's been months already, and we're not exactly sure what to do. We've gotten steroids, topical antibiotics, moisturiser, and now hydrogen peroxide (to clean the open wounds), but they don't seem to get rid of the condition. It gets a small reduction, but it seems like his skin adapts to the help and gets worse before stabilising at a bad level. We'll be seeing his paediatrician next week for his scheduled vaccinations, and we'd ask if he can do something about it, but we're not enthusiastic. Seems like Western medicine is not too good at treating chronic conditions, so we'll see what happens.

---

This last weekend, the confluence of conditions finally made it that we could go to the park to take pictures. Unfortunately, we were a little late, the peak autumn colours had faded and mostly fallen off. Still, we did what we could, and here are some of the results.

This first picture we took looking along a wooded path, the kind where it is all shaded, forming something resembling a tunnel, with light at the end of it. We walked past it, and realised we had to take a picture there:

Another picture, this one you can see that the leaves in the background are quite brown by now. They are supposed to turn red, yellow and that's the time when it is ideal for viewing. Ah well, there will be next year...

We moved on to another site, and took this picture. Somehow, Ryan was in a ticklish mood, and laughed every time Serene patted the mat that he was seated on. Laughter being the contagious thing that it is, she also started laughing as I tried to hold the camera still and quickly fire off the pictures, resulting in this:

Babies. Infuriating sometimes (like right now as I type—he is having difficulty sleeping), but it's times like these that make it all worthwhile.

Happy Halloween!

Savaged vactioners II, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

It's Halloween again, the time where people celebrate the dead by dressing up like them, and when the Great Pumpkin rises out of his patch to deliver toys and goodies to all the kid who have been good for the year.

Or, if you live on or near Church Street, a chance to do a Pride Parade Redux. Annually, Church Street at Wellesley will host a huge street party—road closures, stage, super loud sound system, deejay, open air dance club feel, but fortunately no alcohol/food, though that never stops people from getting... delighted by the substances they bring along.

And of course, the costumes. all sorts of themes, from the usual horror and gore, like the man in the picture above, to celebrities, politicians, sexy outfits, and completely weird, unplaceable genres. There was this one guy who came dressed in only a trenchcoat. How did we know? He showed all standing nearby!

I went to take pictures again this year, and got a few good pictures, the whole lot can be seen here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mike-tan/sets/72157622712708134/

Halloween is also the day before the change in time—from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time, which means the clocks shift one hour behind, and for the first day or so, we feel as if we gained an extra hour. Which feels good. Except that now, the sun sets at about 5pm. It used to be a more decent 6+pm just a week ago. No wonder people get more easily depressed in Winter.

We got out to the park to take a few pictures over the weekend. I'll post those and some other pictures of him eating solids soon.

mother & son

mother & son, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

We were talking the other day, about how to Ryan, we must appear like gods—we could do everything, were so much taller and stronger than he was, could go to places he could only dream of, and he was totally dependent on us for his very survival.

Which reminded us of something we read/watched some time back, about how the hypothesis was that many of the 'sky-father' religions (e.g. the Big Three religions, and also, the Big Three of a certain religion) are modelled after this very first relationship we humans have with a supreme being, relatively speaking. Think about it—the major parts of the mythology is the same: omnipotent, omniscient being which occasionally will punish underlings because ultimately omnipotent being loves underlings, and all that...

Which makes a lot of sense, now we are able to see how dependent this kid is on us.

Anyway. Beautiful picture to share with you today. If/when Ryan grows up and sees this for himself; well, here's a picture of you with your goddess who loves you. Hope you'll like it.

Baby tries to eat links

Baby tries to eat links, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, his face is rashed. And has been so since he was about two and a half months old. It actually went away for about a week or two, then came back again, and stayed, and got worse, better, worse, we got Hydrocortisone cream from the pharmacy (1%), and it got better, worse...

You get the picture.

Seems like nothing we do helps. It's certainly not an allergy, unless he is allergic to breast milk, which would be quite unfortunate. The one that gets us really worried is the hydrocortisone cream. That stuff is a steroid, and is supposed to reduce inflammation by mimicking a body substance and/or blocking the effect of an inflammatory agent. (If you want the details, wikipedia has it). Which is fine. Except that even for the over-the-counter preparations (0.5%), there are explicit warnings not to exceed seven continuous days of use.

His drug came in a urine specimen bottle sized container, and we had been using it on and off since August 13.

Hydrocortisone, among the crazy things it does, thins the skin, in excess, the skin becomes almost translucent, vessels become visible, and the skin is exceptionally liable to breakage and tears.

Which is scary.

In even larger amounts, it affects the adrenal gland function, and that is something you really do not want to be messing around with.

But then, he scratches himself. A lot. Especially at night. And he cannot get to sleep. And he cries, which wakes us up. So we had been using the cream to get the rash to go down.

Just 20 minutes ago, when we attended to his crying, we noticed that his cheek, the place where the rash refused to subside, was bleeding.

We're stopping hydrocortisone use with immediate effect, indefinitely.

I just hope this will not have any long term effects on him.

playing with bead puzzle

playing with bead puzzle, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

well, not really. So yesterday, when Serene was off at the dentist's, I had to take care of the kid. We expected him to be napping for almost all of the time Serene was supposed to be away; however, of course the boy had to wake up early, and refuse, very firmly, to go back to sleep. Of course, that meant a mini-tantrum, with him managing to corral up whatever he had to tell me that he was not going to sleep. That included very high pitched screams, body arching back so he could not be put on his side (we like to put him to sleep on his side), kicking me in the throat, poking my eyes when I put my face close, and using his legs to thump the mattress.

So, ok, awake he is. And I was going through the usual routine of activities for him, and I sort of ran out of things to do. I looked around and found this bead puzzle that someone passed to us. I know this is probably for older kids, but decided to let him try anyway. Interestingly, he actually started to play with the beads, but then, he quickly got bored with the toy, and started to use the wire as a support (he can sit up unassisted, but not for too long). Soon, he got tired, and then frustrated, then this:

So, right now, we are keeping the toy away from him - the blue wire is starting to come loose already...

Hi!

Hi!, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan may be teething. Or, at least, his adventures with discovering the world with his mouth and hands has taken its natural course and now he's stuffing those fingers into his mouth. Which is very cute, especially when he puts one tiny finger into the corner of his mouth.

I suppose this picture would look even cuter if he had his left index finger in the left corner of his mouth, but on balance, his right hand really makes the picture. Almost as if he's saying: "Hi! Yes? What? I'm not supposed to put my fingers in my mouth? What fingers?"

Of course, he's not at the stage where he knows how to wave. But cute anyway...

Gimme!

Gimme!, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

... so young, and so demanding already.

He can be really stubborn when we try to put him to sleep; he has such great persistence that he can wail and scream and struggle for up to half an hour. The only reason we've not timed him going for longer is because we gave up and eventually did something right by him.

Not as if we were simply ignoring his cries. We will shush pat him, pick him up, put him down (yes, Tracy Hogg's methods), make sure his diaper is clean, and he's not hungry, all that. Besides the rash on his face, he has no physical need. He's just (from our perspective) being difficult.

How do we know he has no physical difficulty affecting his sleep? Change the soother from me to Serene, and he co-operates, progressively fussing less, until he falls asleep.

I dunno. Any ideas?

ReNe: starting solids

For a while now, we've been involving Ryan more during our mealtimes, showing him (in exaggerated motions) how we chew, letting him see what we're eating, and so on. Once in a while we would bring the spoon to him to see if he's interested. Initially, he wasn't.

Then a couple of weeks back, he started to exhibit a greater interest in our foods -- looking intently at our food and opening his mouth. So we stopped offering him our spoon (no sense in frustrating him because we're clearly not going to feed him what WE are eating) and started to prepare some foods that he can eat. So far we've let him try prune juice, white grape juice, banana, apple, pear, sweet potato (all mashed) and oatmeal. Thinking about it now, that sequence may not have been the best -- some say we should start with bland foods and work up to the sweeter fruits. Some websites also say we should cook the fruits and not offer raw fruits until later. Oops.

Most current literature advises waiting until the baby is 6 months old (he's 4.5 months now) before introducing solids. Mostly because his digestive system isn't ready for solids yet. However, about the same time he started to exhibit an interest in our food, his diapers also started to stink, so I figured some enzymes must have woken up.

I had also let him lick a couple of Ricola sweets, which he liked very much. In fact, when I offered him the second sweet to lick, he *lunged* forward. I think I shouldn't do such things any more.

Initially, he would spit up everything we gave him, whether or not he likes it. He would go through the chewing motions he learned from us, but he hadn't figured out how to swallow. After a few times, he's now much better at it. His current favorite is sweet potato, followed by apple and pear. He likes these foods so much he would lunge for the spoon after tasting the first mouthful, and cry out angrily when (once he has finished) we remove his utensils and bib. And he does finish all of his food. We were feeding him about 2 teaspoons and today we increased it to 4 teaspoons; he finished everything eagerly.

recalls a fluid pugilistic manoeuvre

recalls a fluid pugilistic manoeuvre, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Nice picture. Nothing else to say. :)

mmm. tastes like chicken

mmm. tastes like chicken, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, Ryan's been eating solids. More like he's sampling food that we've been feeding him. We realised recently that he was ready to try new foods when he started to lose the tongue thrust reflex, the reflexive urge to spit out anything that comes into his mouth. Also, he was quickly becoming extremely curious with regards to the food we eat - he'd stare intently as we ate, and almost had that "gimme some of that!" look on his face. And it was nearly time anyway - one gauge that paediatricians go by is the doubling of birth weight, and yes, he's doubled.

So we started preparing foods for him. Apples, pears, sweet potatoes, boiled, steamed, and then macerated with a mortar and pestle. He loves it!

This one time, I was preparing dinner for ourselves, and as usual, we'd like to plop him up on his high chair as he watches us cook and potter around the kitchen. In what seems like a pattern now, we'd turn our heads away for a minute to attend to something, and then we'd turn back, only to notice surprise us. This time, he was slumped over and tasting the high chair. I wonder if he was feeling hungry, or he's at the stage where he's exploring his world with the new sense that has woken up - his sense of taste...

Because blogspot.com's pictures suck

Baby sits up, unassisted, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

That's why I'm posting this picture from flickr instead.

The resizing algorithm degrades the image quality quite significantly. Flickr does a much better job, sometimes to the extent that it becomes over-sharpened.

Oh well.

ReNe: sitting up unassisted

As the title says.

For the past month and half, Ryan has been able to sit upright if assisted, whether in his high chair or stroller, though he tended to list to one side. Recently, his progress accelerated abruptly. Perhaps it was the increased amount of tummy time?

Last week, he was able to sit up when partially propped by pillows.

He was also able to use a stuffed toy for support.

Two days ago, he started to sit unassisted for a few seconds. He'd hold himself rigid, fingers sometimes clenched tightly to his toes or arms held stiffly in front, but will topple over quickly. He tended to topple to his front.


Yesterday, he discovered if he pulled himself upright, balancing his head over his center of gravity, it helped greatly. Here, he looked more natural and not so rigid, and he could sit up for a few seconds.

Today, he's able to sit unassisted for a couple of minutes. And look at the camera instead of concentrating hard in front of him.

And in the next scene...

tummy time..., originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Can you predict what would come out of our brilliant idea?

You see, he's been resistant to being on his tummy, vastly preferring instead to be standing up, supported by us, of course. Which is tiring. On a day with a good mood, he'd allow us to plop him face down on the mattress, then he'd squeal for a couple of minutes, before squeals becomes fussiness which become all out cries: "Let me up! What makes you think I like to be on my tummy? It's so boring down here!"

So today, when we were re-arranging the furniture, we lowered his mattress height, and got out the alphabet tiles made of soft foam. When we were doing this, he looked very interested and curious, no doubt attracted by the snazzy colours and big blocky shapes. So we thought, why not put him on his belly overlooking the edge of the bed?

Which worked.

Well, kinda. He was happy, not fussing for quite some time, staring at the colourful new things he'd never seen before, and then we turned our backs to do some re-arranging and packing.

Then we heard a dull thud, and then a scream. He had fallen over.

Fortunately for us, he seems to have a high pain tolerance; picked him up, cuddled him for a bit, and he was back to normal, looking like nothing had happened to him. Guess he was more shocked that something strange happened to him, than actually hurt. I guess the padding helped.

ReNe: 1st public meltdown

So far, we've been lucky. Ryan can scream like a banshee at home but he will hold in his frustration while outside. At most, he would fuss a little. Until today.

We went to Ikea today and he just wasn't able to nap properly. Perhaps it was the crowds and overstimulation, or perhaps it was the different stroller -- a friend gave us their old stroller and we tried it out instead of his usual stroller. In any case, by the time we finished lunch and were shopping, he was starting to get tired and fussy, demanding to be held and refusing (loudly) to be strapped into his stroller. By the time we paid, he was wailing away. We settled onto one of the couches in the lobby while waiting for the shuttle bus that would bring us back to the subway station, and he managed to sleep for about 20mins in my arms. It was hardly enough and he woke up as we got down from the shuttle bus. For a while, he was quiet and ok, then on the train back, he started to fuss and then, proceeded to have a total meltdown, ultrasonic screams and all.

Standing (because he screams louder if I sat down) and jiggling him with all the stares of the other train passengers on me, it was, for me, a little embarrassing. When I was single, I would not think too kindly of parents with screaming kids in public; now I am much more understanding of their plight.

ReNe: buskerfest 2009

Toronto's Buskerfest (27-30 Aug) was on last weekend, in front of St Lawrence Market. We strolled down the first evening (Thurs), and even though we didn't see anything very much, we liked it enough to go back down the next evening. Actually, it was also because we didn't see anything that we wanted to go back again.

The great thing about street performances is that it's free (of course donations are welcome) and the atmosphere is fun and lively. The not-so-great thing is that unless you're there early to grab a good spot, it's hard to see what's happening...

Festive and quite crowded. Lots of booths in addition to the buskers. I got a free women's razor.


A 'sculptor clown' called Pedro Tochas.


We heard about this Alakazam guy -- he's able to squeeze his body through a tennis racket, squash racket and toilet seat -- but the crowd was so thick we weren't able to see his performance. In this photo below, that's a squash racket around his waist!


We managed to catch a front row performance for the Piano Juggler's performance. It was humorous and well-paced, and Ryan apparently likes it as well. I was quite surprised he watched the entire half hour long performance quietly; then again, he does like watching things being thrown in the air. When we toss his toys in the air, he usually laughs. I suppose this 'like' is cute now but it won't be a year from now when HE starts to toss things into the air...



I've never been a huge fan of street performances but since coming to Toronto, I'm starting to appreciate them more. The piano juggler's performance was the first for which I sat through from start to finish, and actually left a small sum of money at the end. =)

At the playground

At the playground, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

We've established a daily routine of sorts. He'd wake us up early in the morning (even though we're not ready), and then we'd play with him and have breakfast, until it's time for his nap. Then he sleeps until our lunchtime, during which we'd do our own thing.

After lunch, small playtime, followed by a nap. And depending on whether we feel like a small or large outing, we'd either let him nap at home, then walk out after that, or let him nap in the stroller.

This last weekend, we went to Kensington Market, a good 40+ min walk, just the right time for one of his sleep cycles.

This photo was taken at the playground near the Market.

ReNe: 3.75 months -- regarding playtime

This is quite challenging -- what to do with Ryan when he's not sleeping or eating. At this stage he still loves to look at things more than anything else, and while he was satisfied with our drab apartment in his first couple of months, he quickly got bored of it. In other words, he wants to look at new things but he still not in the stage where he wants to sit down and grab stuff (much). He is starting to, though...

Now that the weather is still pleasant, I try to bring him out almost everyday, whether it's down to the drop-in center in our building or a quick walk to the supermarket nearby to buy groceries. We go to the park sometimes, and occasionally, a further trip downtown. He loves going out now; strapping him into his carrier or stroller evokes an almost Pavlov-like reaction and he gets this happy, expectant look on his face, arms windmilling. If he was fussing before, strapping him into his carrier or stroller practically guarantees he will shut up. Sometimes we take a little too long in leaving the apartment, and he will start fussing again until the exact second we exit the door.

As mentioned, there is a drop-in center in our building and it's great. It's a large room with toys and books where parents with babies and toddlers can drop by on weekday mornings. As it's within the same building, I often bring Ryan down for a short while, then up for a quick nap, and then back down again for another hour before the center closes. He's still not too interested in the toys but he loves to look at the other babies. It's also a great place for me to meet other moms and socialize. As we're in a foreign country, one of my biggest worries for Ryan was the potential lack of socialization -- I need not have worried. There are many families with children in the university family housing, where we stay, and already we regularly meet three other babies (and moms) who all were born within a month apart at the center. Plus, the large library of play resources available means we don't have to buy him so many toys. Best of all, it's completely free.

We are also of the opinion that he should learn to play by himself -- it's a tricky balance between paying attention to his needs and wants, and yet not being his sole source of entertainment.; not neglecting him and yet carefully ignoring him at certain times so he can explore by himself. We have noticed that he tends to start the day in a very good mood and gets more testy as the day progresses; for example, when he first wakes up in the morning, I can generally leave him by himself in his chair as I make breakfast, and he's fine simply observing me for up to an hour. However, by the evening, he will not even sit down in his chair for two minutes before kicking up a fuss.

His chair...
(The chair was given by a friend, and so was the toy block, which was one of a large set. So far, we have only bought him a total of two toys.)

When we started putting him in this chair a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't quite able to hold himself upright yet and would slump against the back. Lately he is starting to sit more upright, leaning forward from the back (of the chair). Also, while we've been placing toys in front of him for a while, it was only very recently that he started to reach for them. Typically, his method of exploration goes like this: examine first with eyes, then mouth. Repeat until bored.

At the Harbourfront

At the Harbourfront, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

The Toronto harbourfront is quite beautiful, and amazing in the sense that for us who have had little prior experience with lakes, looking out onto Lake Ontario looks more like looking out into an ocean. In terms of the built up landscape, certainly VivoCity Singapore has a better thought out infrastructure and amenities. But then, VivoCity also is too caught up in the grips of the consumerist machine for my taste - it's like a huge, monopolising behemoth focussed on taking your money. Toronto's harbourfront, in contrast, is more like a warren of separate businesses, huddled together in the same place, and revelling in the frequent arts, music and just-for-fun festivals that take place year round. People go to the Toronto waterfront for more than just to deliver money to the local tenuously-linked-to-the-government business. They celebrate the seasons, cultural diversity (and a real one, I must add, not state held rigid boundaries like C/I/M/O (wtf is up with 'O'?)), actually sail boats, and thoroughly enjoy themselves.

Anyway, enough soapboxing. This photo was taken at Toronto's harbourfront, and I like it. Do you? :)

mother & son

mother & son, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan loves his walks. Or rather, loves the times he is taken out of the apartment and carried while we walk. He loves it so much that sometimes, he gets quite flustered and fussy if he does not get out. Like today; Serene brought him out, and met me downstairs after I ran an errand. We decided to go slightly further with him, but after I put down some stuff I was carrying. We went back up to the apartment, and as soon as he realised that his walk had been shortened, he started to throw a tantrum until we got his stroller out the door, at which point he magically quietened down, and almost put on a grin on his face. That's how we know he likes going out very much.

I wonder how he'd like going out when it is -20ºC in winter.

ReNe: 3.5 months -- regarding sleep

As Mike mentioned in the last post, we've been trying to work on Ryan's sleep. He sleeps very well at night. We put him to bed around 7+. I would feed him a couple of times through the night, during which he suckles automatically and goes back to sleep right after, and sleeps all the way through until 7am the next day. However, his day naps were not as good, though we figured we shouldn't worry too much because at least he gets a good night's rest.

Then a couple of weeks ago, he started sleeping less and less during the day, until he was only managing 30min naps. And getting quite cranky. Plus, there was a lot of work on our part to actually get him to sleep (rocking, jiggling, singing, sling, etc.) We even though about buying a c-clamp and rigging up some hammock-like arrangement with the sling, yet we sort of knew all these weren't the answer. He'd outgrow the sling quite soon and plus, are we prepared to do all these for the next few years??

I came across mentions of this book 'Baby Whisperer' by Tracy Hogg online; read excerpts and browsed the forums. We tried out the EASY routine she recommends when Ryan was about 4 weeks old and it worked pretty well, only it started to break down when he was about 3 months. At this point, I decided to buy and read the book, instead of reading snippets here and there online. (It turned out the reason our routine wasn't working was because it was suggested for a baby younger than 3 months; older babies would feed less and stay up for longer, necessitating a different routine.) She has very solid, practical advice. For example, she says to "start as you mean to go on"; so if we don't plan to rock Ryan to sleep for the next few years, or continue the use of 'props' (Tracy Hogg's term) such as the sling, we should stop it right now.

So we've been trying out the advice in the book, and so far it's been going along pretty well. Our aim is to teach Ryan to sleep on his own, in his crib. That means no, or minimal, use of 'props' such as ourselves (jiggling, etc.). Also, we want him to take longer naps during the day, and that means he needs to know how to self-soothe and go back to sleep on his own when he wakes up after a sleep cycle.

Initially he would throw a huge tantrum whenever we put him down for his naps and he would take over 20mins, even up to 40mins, of pick-up/put-down (PU/PD) to settle down. I think he passed out more from exhaustion than sleepiness. But we kept at it and fortunately, at about 3.5 months old, Ryan's still not too set in his ways. After a few days, Ryan's now able to sleep mostly on his own. We keep a careful eye on the clock, make sure that some time before his expected nap time we start to wind down his activities and give him a chance to calm down. Then when he starts to display signs of sleepiness, we put him down in his crib and pat his back for a few minutes. Sometimes he kicks up a fuss, but generally he's out in about 5-10mins. Sometimes we'd give him his soft toy to gum on (or maul), mostly we would swaddle him. Most of the time now, we don't even have to do the PU/PD. Soon, I hope we won't even have to pat his back. We couldn't quite figure out how to extend his naps though, but strangely, he has started to nap up to 2 hours today. I don't know what it was we did exactly to enable that, but we're cautiously hoping he would continue this good trend.

In a sling

In a sling, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan's 15 weeks old this week, and at any stage of his life, he changes quite rapidly. Even though it felt like such a long time ago, it was barely 2 months ago when he could barely keep himself awake for more than 30 minute stretches, and his neck muscles were non-existent.

Right now, he sleeps fairly well, at night at least, from about 8pm to 7am the next day, waking up to feed once at 3am till about late last week, when we decided to cut out that feed. It was less traumatic than expected, and he adapted within 3 days, this morning surprising us by not even waking up for the 5am feed.

We've also been training him to fall asleep on his own, instead of us having to rock, jiggle, cuddle, or otherwise actively intervene in his falling asleep. In this picture, is our misguided attempt at getting him to fall asleep in the sling. It works, sure, but unless we were willing to use the sling until he is much older, we needed to teach him how to fall asleep on his own in his own crib, which we would have to do later anyway because he would soon outgrow the sling.

As I was saying, he has no difficulty falling and remaining asleep at night, he resists napping in the day, and wakes up 40-45 minutes into the nap, reliably (sleep cycle is 40-45 minutes in length), and then decides, quite angrily, that enough is enough, somebody better get him out of this silly crib or else... And he fusses and cries, till he is picked up, and then within seconds after he is picked up, he often can be seen smiling or cooing.

Which makes us wonder - is he so active and curious about what's happening around him that he absolutely detests falling asleep? He's so alert and easily bored that in the evenings, he gets fussy unless we bring him out for a stroll. And other parents we meet at the playgroup all remark that he is so alert, responsive and curious, always tracking the strangers and often cooing and seducing the women with his cuteness (men usually don't have the patience to coo to babies, and it would be totally weird for a male stranger to come cooing to a baby, actually).

So, to summarise; he's sleeping well, at night, and we wish he could nap longer, at least once or twice of his 3-4 daily naps. He is still terrified of baths, but that's the subject of another post.

Oh, and of course, enjoy the cute picture.

Swollen

Swollen, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

On Saturday evening, walking back from grocery shopping, I walked past a planter bed, when I suddenly felt something very painful at my left ankle, the front part which folds when the foot flexes (there's gotta be a better name than this, but I am not aware of it).

Initially, I thought it was some sort of ant, and from the pain, probably a large one. I bent over, to try to pick off the ant, and when I did, I found myself pulling off an insect with yellow shell. That was when I realised that I had been stung by a yellow jacket...

Besides a mild itch, Saturday night and Sunday morning was fine, enough that I decided to take a walk on Sunday afternoon, to see the Pedestrian Sundays at Kensington Market - that's when they close the roads off to vehicular traffic and hold street performances and celebrations at Kensington Market; this one in commemoration of the 2003 blackout which affected the Eastern Seaboard.

Coming home, my shoe felt distinctly tighter, and by Monday morning, the foot had swollen to the extent in the picture.

Walked to the hospital, waited 3 hours to see the doctor for 5 minutes, who proclaimed that it was unlikely to be infected because I had no fever, and that there was no pain at the site of the sting. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics which I was to fill if I had a fever, and asked me to get some non-prescription anti-histamine. Quite the letdown from the pronouncement of the triage nurse who said that I might have to have IV antibiotics because it looked infected.

So, right now, almost 20 hours after 50mg of diphenhydramine, I still feel slightly woozy, certainly not the sharpest I've been, but nowhere near as bad as a hangover. The foot itches on and off, and when it does, I feel as if I almost need to claw away the skin to get relief. I'm somewhat irritable, cos of the drowsiness, and I should not walk, to ease off the pressure on the foot, so, I feel very cooped up in apartment.

The boy's cries and fussiness have not been too helpful on my mood either. :(

So, overall, don't feel so good.

As a commentor on this picture on flickr says, I guess things can only get better?

Oh and by the way, if you look carefully, you might see my right small toe bruised from the box fan falling down on it... I tripped on the cable and caused it to fall on my foot. Bad weekend, I guess.

ReNe: happy 3 months! (belated)

Books and friends all talk about the 3 month mark like it's a magical milestone; I almost expect Ryan to 'grow up' with a swirl of lights, Sims-style.

Well, the change is of course more gradual. He's feeding a little less frequently, from 10x a day to 7-8x a day. He's sleeping less during the day though he still sleeps 12 hours at night. And, most significantly, he's a lot more active. I estimate he spends about 7-8 hours awake each day and since he doesn't play by himself for too long yet, we spend a lot of time playing with him or even just holding him. He doesn't mind sitting in his rocking chair and will babble to himself or stare at some toys I pinned to a curtain, but he will only play by himself for perhaps 10, 20 minutes. He absolutely hates to lie down (on the bed) when he's awake; probably because he can't see us.

So far it's still quite exhausting. Fortunately he sleeps through the night, but he's still keeps us very busy during the day. Taking care of him is far more tiring than any (full-time) job I've ever had! He's constantly in flux, growing and upsetting whatever routine we think we would have set up every few days.

He's a lot more chatty and playful now, definitely exhibiting more of a personality, which is starting to look quite stubborn. He would babble to us, his cries sometimes take on a petulant and whiny edge when we don't seem to get whatever he's complaining about, and he smiles often. Last week, he started laughing too, particularly when we play peek-a-boo (a game I never thought I would find myself playing, but it amuses him). His needs are more complex now; he actually gets bored if he sits in one place for too long.

Sharing a laff

Sharing a laff, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, he's playing favourites - one day he'd respond very well to me, chatting and playing, while shunning Serene after a bad feeding session, when it was more a fight than a feed.

Then, next day, after I almost drowned him (from his perspective at least, I use the shower so there was no danger at any time), I become the villain, and he would have long talks with his mother, and refuse to face me when I am presented in front of him.

This one time, Serene's the favoured one, and for some inexplicable reason, he's smiling and laughing, causing her to respond in kind.

Cute, hur?

ReNe: monorail cat

Have you ever seen lolcats?


We have our own monorail kitteh:

ReNe: berry cool

Summer so far has been quite cool. For example, today's maximum temperature is 22C (minimum 17C), tomorrow 23C. I remember summer last year to be sweltering; of course it cannot compare to Singapore's climate, but it got relatively sweltering for Toronto. So much so that this year we decided we won't make the same mistake as last year and we bought a window air-conditioner unit.

And of course this year, summer turns out to be pretty mild. It's already the end of July and temperatures outside still feels like that of an air-conditioned room.

On another note, I find myself developing a taste for berries. Back in Singapore, I'd only ever tried (fresh) strawberries (berry jams don't count) and I wasn't impressed at all. They were usually overpriced and sour. I was convinced though that if I could try them when they're really fresh, they'd be sweet. Not so; strawberries fresh from the vine at Cameron Highlands, and in Aomori in Japan, didn't taste much better. Less sour and they smelled great, but they were not sweet.

So I had given up, thinking strawberries are meant to be somewhat tart. Then this summer, craving fresh fruits, I started buying berries (not only strawberries but blueberries and raspberries as well) and they were actually sweet! I was quite astonished. They also freeze well and taste even sweeter when frozen. And they can be quite cheap; the other day I bought 3 pints of strawberries for $2. At the start of summer, a pint was going for $2.

Perched on shoulder II

Perched on shoulder II, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

With a digital camera, it is so easy to take many many pictures, to weed out the obviously bad pictures. Then, with the last few pictures, it becomes progressively more difficult to distinguish between one photo and another, all of which look almost identical...

Anyway, I was sitting on a stack of photos, from the 'perched' series. I found some time today to do some tidying up of the image, and the result is as you see here: a relaxed baby, which, according to Serene, looks more mature than he really is, especially with his resting on his arm pose.

I don't need to go to the paediatrician today, do I?

, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Doesn't he seem to be saying just that in the picture? No, of course he is not verbally communicating yet, and there was no paediatrician appointment that day. This is just one of those photos we took when we are at that half-asleep state early in the morning when he wakes up, is happy to have slept for the last 12 or so hours, and is extremely cheerful and talkative. Once in a while, he'd even have a cry, just to wake us up. We know that's happening because once we get up, all panicked and flustered (think 120 decibel alarm clock a few inches from your ear), and pick him up, he settles down immediately and starts cooing and making baby talk conversation with us.

And so, we try to sleep earlier and wake up and play with him when he is most charming, but that's so much like jet lag, and that's hard, especially since we put him to sleep at 7-8pm, and whatever time we have after that is ours, which is precious, so we always end up sleeping past 12.

Anyway, just thought to share this cute photo... :)

Mother & son

Mother & son, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan's getting bigger; last week when we were at the paediatrician, he weighed slightly over 6kg!

We agreed, yesterday while talking over a meal, that he's at the ideal balance between heavy (and therefore strong enough to hold his head up) and light (and therefore so weak that we have to be careful about his head rolling around all over the place).

But then again, what do we know? He's our first kid, and we don't have any other experience with kids.

Still, he is very nice to hold now. Can afford to be a little less careful with him as compared to 3-4 weeks ago, and still very cute and cuddly. I suppose all that fat on him helps with the latter.

Anyway, here's a picture from when we were trying to get him to sleep. He's fairly good at it: he will sleep around 7-8pm, waking up 12 hours later, all bright eyed and ready to talk to us, as we struggle to keep our eyelids open. Of course, he gets his feeds in through the night, but at up to 4 hour intervals, so we don't get overly disturbed.

This particular day, he was not as sleepy, having napped quite a bit in the day, so we were jiggling him as we walked around the apartment.

Eventually though, he fell asleep. Which means life for us begins. ;)

Kinda feel like Cinderella at the ball, if you know what I mean.

perched on shoulder

perched on shoulder, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

cute or not?

These days, he can be quite fussy, insisting to be in our arms all the time. He'd fall asleep, then, when we decide to put him down, he wakes up, realises what we're doing, and fusses all over again, and we'd then have to hold him, and jiggle him till he falls asleep. It can be quite frustrating, if not for the times like this when he coos, and presents us with his smile that would auto-magically melt our hearts and not mind carrying him for some more.

Big air!

Big air!, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Yesterday, I went out with the local Toronto Photography Meet-up Group which I might have mentioned previously. I still think they need a more catchy name, but their initials TPMG sounds quite good, like KPMG or something, but I digress.

The plan was to shoot the Harbourfront area by dusk, hopefully to get some sunset colours. The day was not promising, being quite cloudy and overcast, threatening to rain at times. Still, it managed to clear enough to let some sunlight through at about 7pm (sunset here is 9 pm; this picture was taken at 9:06). The result is as you see here. Beautiful colours.

Success!

Success!, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

He can now hold his head up. Not for too long, but perhaps momentarily. Much better than a few weeks ago when all he could do was lie flat and complain. Like I mentioned in the previous post, he is 8 weeks old today, so I guess, this is a suitable milestone of sorts?

He is growing up so fast.

Like father? or like mother?

Like father? or like mother?, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, what do you think? This was an earlier picture. He has definitely grown since that time. Right now, he has put on so much weight that I get a persistent backache and near carpal tunnel syndrome holding him up and using my hands to hold him close to my body - especially after a meal, he likes to be held upright and close to me, and the pressure helps him burp.

Today, he will be 8 weeks old. I suppose the more appropriate picture will be the one I'll post next...

ReNe: garbage strike, week 2...

The City of Toronto workers have been on strike for the past week. What that means is that among the various services that are disrupted (which include city childcare centers), garbage collection is one of them.

Luckily, because we're staying in an apartment building, our trash collection is not affected. However, garbage bins around the city are starting to overflow. Some parks are designated as temporary dumping sites and locals living near those parks are complaining. It is a valid concern as those sites are certain to attract pests and runoff from the trash could affect the groundwater below. Some place with a hard surface, like a carpark lot, would be a better choice I think.

So everyone's complaining, mostly about either the politicians or the unions. Given how environmentally conscious Canadians are, I wonder why the newspapers are not taking the opportunity to step up to the soapbox about reducing garbage...

Falling asleep

Falling asleep, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

As I write this, Ryan's lying on my lap, dozing off and slipping slowly into la-la land. A little while ago, he was on our bed, asleep fairly soundly after falling asleep on Serene's shoulder about 30 minutes ago. He fussed, and immediately calmed down when carried in my arms.

I dunno. We do read about it, and at least one well-meaning colleague has said something to the effect that we should stop the 'habit' of allowing him to seek comfort on our arms/shoulders/laps/whatever. The idea here is that the baby 'manipulates' the parent into getting what it wants, crying to get its demands met. The advice given by some include ignoring the kid's cries, letting the kid 'cry it out', and 'hardening one's heart' to the cries.

On our part, we think otherwise, and lean more towards the camp that think that, at least for the first six months or so, the kid has little manipulativeness, and cannot be 'spoilt' by more hugs and affection. So, the idea is that, when babies cry, they are stressed and get stressed due to their demands not being met. This raises cortisol levels in the brain, which, among other things, tend to influence the personality of the kid, making it more withdrawn and a good candidate for depression.

And we do notice a bit of that happening - just this past week, we were a little frustrated with his cries, and decided to leave him alone for a bit. The rest of the day, he was more disturbed than usual; he took longer to calm down, and he slept more lightly, waking up and fussing more easily.

Myself, I think a supportive environment initially would be better - the kid learns that there are rules which govern the working of the world, and that it has some role in this order. Of course, this is not to say that he becomes our little emperor - there will be time for independence training yet, just not now, I don't think.