ReNe: 3.75 months -- regarding playtime

This is quite challenging -- what to do with Ryan when he's not sleeping or eating. At this stage he still loves to look at things more than anything else, and while he was satisfied with our drab apartment in his first couple of months, he quickly got bored of it. In other words, he wants to look at new things but he still not in the stage where he wants to sit down and grab stuff (much). He is starting to, though...

Now that the weather is still pleasant, I try to bring him out almost everyday, whether it's down to the drop-in center in our building or a quick walk to the supermarket nearby to buy groceries. We go to the park sometimes, and occasionally, a further trip downtown. He loves going out now; strapping him into his carrier or stroller evokes an almost Pavlov-like reaction and he gets this happy, expectant look on his face, arms windmilling. If he was fussing before, strapping him into his carrier or stroller practically guarantees he will shut up. Sometimes we take a little too long in leaving the apartment, and he will start fussing again until the exact second we exit the door.

As mentioned, there is a drop-in center in our building and it's great. It's a large room with toys and books where parents with babies and toddlers can drop by on weekday mornings. As it's within the same building, I often bring Ryan down for a short while, then up for a quick nap, and then back down again for another hour before the center closes. He's still not too interested in the toys but he loves to look at the other babies. It's also a great place for me to meet other moms and socialize. As we're in a foreign country, one of my biggest worries for Ryan was the potential lack of socialization -- I need not have worried. There are many families with children in the university family housing, where we stay, and already we regularly meet three other babies (and moms) who all were born within a month apart at the center. Plus, the large library of play resources available means we don't have to buy him so many toys. Best of all, it's completely free.

We are also of the opinion that he should learn to play by himself -- it's a tricky balance between paying attention to his needs and wants, and yet not being his sole source of entertainment.; not neglecting him and yet carefully ignoring him at certain times so he can explore by himself. We have noticed that he tends to start the day in a very good mood and gets more testy as the day progresses; for example, when he first wakes up in the morning, I can generally leave him by himself in his chair as I make breakfast, and he's fine simply observing me for up to an hour. However, by the evening, he will not even sit down in his chair for two minutes before kicking up a fuss.

His chair...
(The chair was given by a friend, and so was the toy block, which was one of a large set. So far, we have only bought him a total of two toys.)

When we started putting him in this chair a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't quite able to hold himself upright yet and would slump against the back. Lately he is starting to sit more upright, leaning forward from the back (of the chair). Also, while we've been placing toys in front of him for a while, it was only very recently that he started to reach for them. Typically, his method of exploration goes like this: examine first with eyes, then mouth. Repeat until bored.

At the Harbourfront

At the Harbourfront, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

The Toronto harbourfront is quite beautiful, and amazing in the sense that for us who have had little prior experience with lakes, looking out onto Lake Ontario looks more like looking out into an ocean. In terms of the built up landscape, certainly VivoCity Singapore has a better thought out infrastructure and amenities. But then, VivoCity also is too caught up in the grips of the consumerist machine for my taste - it's like a huge, monopolising behemoth focussed on taking your money. Toronto's harbourfront, in contrast, is more like a warren of separate businesses, huddled together in the same place, and revelling in the frequent arts, music and just-for-fun festivals that take place year round. People go to the Toronto waterfront for more than just to deliver money to the local tenuously-linked-to-the-government business. They celebrate the seasons, cultural diversity (and a real one, I must add, not state held rigid boundaries like C/I/M/O (wtf is up with 'O'?)), actually sail boats, and thoroughly enjoy themselves.

Anyway, enough soapboxing. This photo was taken at Toronto's harbourfront, and I like it. Do you? :)

mother & son

mother & son, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan loves his walks. Or rather, loves the times he is taken out of the apartment and carried while we walk. He loves it so much that sometimes, he gets quite flustered and fussy if he does not get out. Like today; Serene brought him out, and met me downstairs after I ran an errand. We decided to go slightly further with him, but after I put down some stuff I was carrying. We went back up to the apartment, and as soon as he realised that his walk had been shortened, he started to throw a tantrum until we got his stroller out the door, at which point he magically quietened down, and almost put on a grin on his face. That's how we know he likes going out very much.

I wonder how he'd like going out when it is -20ºC in winter.

ReNe: 3.5 months -- regarding sleep

As Mike mentioned in the last post, we've been trying to work on Ryan's sleep. He sleeps very well at night. We put him to bed around 7+. I would feed him a couple of times through the night, during which he suckles automatically and goes back to sleep right after, and sleeps all the way through until 7am the next day. However, his day naps were not as good, though we figured we shouldn't worry too much because at least he gets a good night's rest.

Then a couple of weeks ago, he started sleeping less and less during the day, until he was only managing 30min naps. And getting quite cranky. Plus, there was a lot of work on our part to actually get him to sleep (rocking, jiggling, singing, sling, etc.) We even though about buying a c-clamp and rigging up some hammock-like arrangement with the sling, yet we sort of knew all these weren't the answer. He'd outgrow the sling quite soon and plus, are we prepared to do all these for the next few years??

I came across mentions of this book 'Baby Whisperer' by Tracy Hogg online; read excerpts and browsed the forums. We tried out the EASY routine she recommends when Ryan was about 4 weeks old and it worked pretty well, only it started to break down when he was about 3 months. At this point, I decided to buy and read the book, instead of reading snippets here and there online. (It turned out the reason our routine wasn't working was because it was suggested for a baby younger than 3 months; older babies would feed less and stay up for longer, necessitating a different routine.) She has very solid, practical advice. For example, she says to "start as you mean to go on"; so if we don't plan to rock Ryan to sleep for the next few years, or continue the use of 'props' (Tracy Hogg's term) such as the sling, we should stop it right now.

So we've been trying out the advice in the book, and so far it's been going along pretty well. Our aim is to teach Ryan to sleep on his own, in his crib. That means no, or minimal, use of 'props' such as ourselves (jiggling, etc.). Also, we want him to take longer naps during the day, and that means he needs to know how to self-soothe and go back to sleep on his own when he wakes up after a sleep cycle.

Initially he would throw a huge tantrum whenever we put him down for his naps and he would take over 20mins, even up to 40mins, of pick-up/put-down (PU/PD) to settle down. I think he passed out more from exhaustion than sleepiness. But we kept at it and fortunately, at about 3.5 months old, Ryan's still not too set in his ways. After a few days, Ryan's now able to sleep mostly on his own. We keep a careful eye on the clock, make sure that some time before his expected nap time we start to wind down his activities and give him a chance to calm down. Then when he starts to display signs of sleepiness, we put him down in his crib and pat his back for a few minutes. Sometimes he kicks up a fuss, but generally he's out in about 5-10mins. Sometimes we'd give him his soft toy to gum on (or maul), mostly we would swaddle him. Most of the time now, we don't even have to do the PU/PD. Soon, I hope we won't even have to pat his back. We couldn't quite figure out how to extend his naps though, but strangely, he has started to nap up to 2 hours today. I don't know what it was we did exactly to enable that, but we're cautiously hoping he would continue this good trend.

In a sling

In a sling, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan's 15 weeks old this week, and at any stage of his life, he changes quite rapidly. Even though it felt like such a long time ago, it was barely 2 months ago when he could barely keep himself awake for more than 30 minute stretches, and his neck muscles were non-existent.

Right now, he sleeps fairly well, at night at least, from about 8pm to 7am the next day, waking up to feed once at 3am till about late last week, when we decided to cut out that feed. It was less traumatic than expected, and he adapted within 3 days, this morning surprising us by not even waking up for the 5am feed.

We've also been training him to fall asleep on his own, instead of us having to rock, jiggle, cuddle, or otherwise actively intervene in his falling asleep. In this picture, is our misguided attempt at getting him to fall asleep in the sling. It works, sure, but unless we were willing to use the sling until he is much older, we needed to teach him how to fall asleep on his own in his own crib, which we would have to do later anyway because he would soon outgrow the sling.

As I was saying, he has no difficulty falling and remaining asleep at night, he resists napping in the day, and wakes up 40-45 minutes into the nap, reliably (sleep cycle is 40-45 minutes in length), and then decides, quite angrily, that enough is enough, somebody better get him out of this silly crib or else... And he fusses and cries, till he is picked up, and then within seconds after he is picked up, he often can be seen smiling or cooing.

Which makes us wonder - is he so active and curious about what's happening around him that he absolutely detests falling asleep? He's so alert and easily bored that in the evenings, he gets fussy unless we bring him out for a stroll. And other parents we meet at the playgroup all remark that he is so alert, responsive and curious, always tracking the strangers and often cooing and seducing the women with his cuteness (men usually don't have the patience to coo to babies, and it would be totally weird for a male stranger to come cooing to a baby, actually).

So, to summarise; he's sleeping well, at night, and we wish he could nap longer, at least once or twice of his 3-4 daily naps. He is still terrified of baths, but that's the subject of another post.

Oh, and of course, enjoy the cute picture.

Swollen

Swollen, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

On Saturday evening, walking back from grocery shopping, I walked past a planter bed, when I suddenly felt something very painful at my left ankle, the front part which folds when the foot flexes (there's gotta be a better name than this, but I am not aware of it).

Initially, I thought it was some sort of ant, and from the pain, probably a large one. I bent over, to try to pick off the ant, and when I did, I found myself pulling off an insect with yellow shell. That was when I realised that I had been stung by a yellow jacket...

Besides a mild itch, Saturday night and Sunday morning was fine, enough that I decided to take a walk on Sunday afternoon, to see the Pedestrian Sundays at Kensington Market - that's when they close the roads off to vehicular traffic and hold street performances and celebrations at Kensington Market; this one in commemoration of the 2003 blackout which affected the Eastern Seaboard.

Coming home, my shoe felt distinctly tighter, and by Monday morning, the foot had swollen to the extent in the picture.

Walked to the hospital, waited 3 hours to see the doctor for 5 minutes, who proclaimed that it was unlikely to be infected because I had no fever, and that there was no pain at the site of the sting. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics which I was to fill if I had a fever, and asked me to get some non-prescription anti-histamine. Quite the letdown from the pronouncement of the triage nurse who said that I might have to have IV antibiotics because it looked infected.

So, right now, almost 20 hours after 50mg of diphenhydramine, I still feel slightly woozy, certainly not the sharpest I've been, but nowhere near as bad as a hangover. The foot itches on and off, and when it does, I feel as if I almost need to claw away the skin to get relief. I'm somewhat irritable, cos of the drowsiness, and I should not walk, to ease off the pressure on the foot, so, I feel very cooped up in apartment.

The boy's cries and fussiness have not been too helpful on my mood either. :(

So, overall, don't feel so good.

As a commentor on this picture on flickr says, I guess things can only get better?

Oh and by the way, if you look carefully, you might see my right small toe bruised from the box fan falling down on it... I tripped on the cable and caused it to fall on my foot. Bad weekend, I guess.

ReNe: happy 3 months! (belated)

Books and friends all talk about the 3 month mark like it's a magical milestone; I almost expect Ryan to 'grow up' with a swirl of lights, Sims-style.

Well, the change is of course more gradual. He's feeding a little less frequently, from 10x a day to 7-8x a day. He's sleeping less during the day though he still sleeps 12 hours at night. And, most significantly, he's a lot more active. I estimate he spends about 7-8 hours awake each day and since he doesn't play by himself for too long yet, we spend a lot of time playing with him or even just holding him. He doesn't mind sitting in his rocking chair and will babble to himself or stare at some toys I pinned to a curtain, but he will only play by himself for perhaps 10, 20 minutes. He absolutely hates to lie down (on the bed) when he's awake; probably because he can't see us.

So far it's still quite exhausting. Fortunately he sleeps through the night, but he's still keeps us very busy during the day. Taking care of him is far more tiring than any (full-time) job I've ever had! He's constantly in flux, growing and upsetting whatever routine we think we would have set up every few days.

He's a lot more chatty and playful now, definitely exhibiting more of a personality, which is starting to look quite stubborn. He would babble to us, his cries sometimes take on a petulant and whiny edge when we don't seem to get whatever he's complaining about, and he smiles often. Last week, he started laughing too, particularly when we play peek-a-boo (a game I never thought I would find myself playing, but it amuses him). His needs are more complex now; he actually gets bored if he sits in one place for too long.