ReNe: garbage strike, week 2...

The City of Toronto workers have been on strike for the past week. What that means is that among the various services that are disrupted (which include city childcare centers), garbage collection is one of them.

Luckily, because we're staying in an apartment building, our trash collection is not affected. However, garbage bins around the city are starting to overflow. Some parks are designated as temporary dumping sites and locals living near those parks are complaining. It is a valid concern as those sites are certain to attract pests and runoff from the trash could affect the groundwater below. Some place with a hard surface, like a carpark lot, would be a better choice I think.

So everyone's complaining, mostly about either the politicians or the unions. Given how environmentally conscious Canadians are, I wonder why the newspapers are not taking the opportunity to step up to the soapbox about reducing garbage...

Falling asleep

Falling asleep, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

As I write this, Ryan's lying on my lap, dozing off and slipping slowly into la-la land. A little while ago, he was on our bed, asleep fairly soundly after falling asleep on Serene's shoulder about 30 minutes ago. He fussed, and immediately calmed down when carried in my arms.

I dunno. We do read about it, and at least one well-meaning colleague has said something to the effect that we should stop the 'habit' of allowing him to seek comfort on our arms/shoulders/laps/whatever. The idea here is that the baby 'manipulates' the parent into getting what it wants, crying to get its demands met. The advice given by some include ignoring the kid's cries, letting the kid 'cry it out', and 'hardening one's heart' to the cries.

On our part, we think otherwise, and lean more towards the camp that think that, at least for the first six months or so, the kid has little manipulativeness, and cannot be 'spoilt' by more hugs and affection. So, the idea is that, when babies cry, they are stressed and get stressed due to their demands not being met. This raises cortisol levels in the brain, which, among other things, tend to influence the personality of the kid, making it more withdrawn and a good candidate for depression.

And we do notice a bit of that happening - just this past week, we were a little frustrated with his cries, and decided to leave him alone for a bit. The rest of the day, he was more disturbed than usual; he took longer to calm down, and he slept more lightly, waking up and fussing more easily.

Myself, I think a supportive environment initially would be better - the kid learns that there are rules which govern the working of the world, and that it has some role in this order. Of course, this is not to say that he becomes our little emperor - there will be time for independence training yet, just not now, I don't think.

ReNe: system initialization

We find it very amusing to watch Ryan sleep. He first goes into what we term, very loosely, REM sleep (we're not sure if he's actually dreaming...), where he twitches a lot. His facial expression especially, runs the gamut of grimaces, smiles, eyebrow raises; each often lasting no more than a couple of seconds. It's almost like a system initialization ("all systems check..."). He'd grunt, squeak, even yell.

Then he settles into a deeper sleep where he hardly moves, though he does startle occasionally. I've seen him bop himself in the eye when he jerks and his hand's too close to his face...

And when he moves back into that REM sleep, we know he's getting ready to wake up. Arms will flail, legs will curl and kick, shoulders will shrug; and the difference between this segment of sleep-to-awake and the awake-to-sleep REM sleep is that he'd stretch a lot as he moves to full wakefulness (and if we pick him up while he's stretching, he's not too happy.) It's terribly cute.

ReNe: funniest expression

After my shower yesterday, I came out to see Ryan strapped to Mike -- Ryan was being fussy and constantly wanted to be carried, and Mike had chores to do. Ryan's expression was so funny I immediately burst out laughing and reached for the camera....

He looks disgruntled and confused, as if while he's technically being carried, it's not quite what he imagined...

MiKE: Juggling work and family

Juggling work and family, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Right now, Ryan has just passed the 1 month mark. This figure is somehow special; in Chinese culture, which I cannot claim to be an expert in, a celebration is held during the end of the first month of the child's life. Some other cultures will only give a name to the child at the end of the first month. I suppose, this has traditionally been due to the high infant mortality rate within the first month.

Ryan has definitely grown. Obvious signs include the fact that his arms now fit in his shirtsleeves properly; he is learning to kick quite strongly, and his head is less deformed. We think we settle into some routine, and manage to have a little more time for ourselves, then he will throw a spanner in the works. This last week, for example, he has been starting to need less sleep in the afternoons, and be fussy in the evenings. We'd try all sorts of things to distract and entertain him, but he is often not amused, and ends up crying. I suppose, to a large extent, things will get better, and I can't wait for that to happen.

Back to the picture - Serene was frustrated having to walk out of the room to get him and console him, that eventually, she decided to leave him on the change mat, right beside her as she worked. Somehow, this worked; seemed like all he wanted was to be close to his parents.

I came back from the office to find them together, and knew I just had to take this picture...