Gimme!

Gimme!, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

... so young, and so demanding already.

He can be really stubborn when we try to put him to sleep; he has such great persistence that he can wail and scream and struggle for up to half an hour. The only reason we've not timed him going for longer is because we gave up and eventually did something right by him.

Not as if we were simply ignoring his cries. We will shush pat him, pick him up, put him down (yes, Tracy Hogg's methods), make sure his diaper is clean, and he's not hungry, all that. Besides the rash on his face, he has no physical need. He's just (from our perspective) being difficult.

How do we know he has no physical difficulty affecting his sleep? Change the soother from me to Serene, and he co-operates, progressively fussing less, until he falls asleep.

I dunno. Any ideas?

ReNe: starting solids

For a while now, we've been involving Ryan more during our mealtimes, showing him (in exaggerated motions) how we chew, letting him see what we're eating, and so on. Once in a while we would bring the spoon to him to see if he's interested. Initially, he wasn't.

Then a couple of weeks back, he started to exhibit a greater interest in our foods -- looking intently at our food and opening his mouth. So we stopped offering him our spoon (no sense in frustrating him because we're clearly not going to feed him what WE are eating) and started to prepare some foods that he can eat. So far we've let him try prune juice, white grape juice, banana, apple, pear, sweet potato (all mashed) and oatmeal. Thinking about it now, that sequence may not have been the best -- some say we should start with bland foods and work up to the sweeter fruits. Some websites also say we should cook the fruits and not offer raw fruits until later. Oops.

Most current literature advises waiting until the baby is 6 months old (he's 4.5 months now) before introducing solids. Mostly because his digestive system isn't ready for solids yet. However, about the same time he started to exhibit an interest in our food, his diapers also started to stink, so I figured some enzymes must have woken up.

I had also let him lick a couple of Ricola sweets, which he liked very much. In fact, when I offered him the second sweet to lick, he *lunged* forward. I think I shouldn't do such things any more.

Initially, he would spit up everything we gave him, whether or not he likes it. He would go through the chewing motions he learned from us, but he hadn't figured out how to swallow. After a few times, he's now much better at it. His current favorite is sweet potato, followed by apple and pear. He likes these foods so much he would lunge for the spoon after tasting the first mouthful, and cry out angrily when (once he has finished) we remove his utensils and bib. And he does finish all of his food. We were feeding him about 2 teaspoons and today we increased it to 4 teaspoons; he finished everything eagerly.

recalls a fluid pugilistic manoeuvre

recalls a fluid pugilistic manoeuvre, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Nice picture. Nothing else to say. :)

mmm. tastes like chicken

mmm. tastes like chicken, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, Ryan's been eating solids. More like he's sampling food that we've been feeding him. We realised recently that he was ready to try new foods when he started to lose the tongue thrust reflex, the reflexive urge to spit out anything that comes into his mouth. Also, he was quickly becoming extremely curious with regards to the food we eat - he'd stare intently as we ate, and almost had that "gimme some of that!" look on his face. And it was nearly time anyway - one gauge that paediatricians go by is the doubling of birth weight, and yes, he's doubled.

So we started preparing foods for him. Apples, pears, sweet potatoes, boiled, steamed, and then macerated with a mortar and pestle. He loves it!

This one time, I was preparing dinner for ourselves, and as usual, we'd like to plop him up on his high chair as he watches us cook and potter around the kitchen. In what seems like a pattern now, we'd turn our heads away for a minute to attend to something, and then we'd turn back, only to notice surprise us. This time, he was slumped over and tasting the high chair. I wonder if he was feeling hungry, or he's at the stage where he's exploring his world with the new sense that has woken up - his sense of taste...

Because blogspot.com's pictures suck

Baby sits up, unassisted, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

That's why I'm posting this picture from flickr instead.

The resizing algorithm degrades the image quality quite significantly. Flickr does a much better job, sometimes to the extent that it becomes over-sharpened.

Oh well.

ReNe: sitting up unassisted

As the title says.

For the past month and half, Ryan has been able to sit upright if assisted, whether in his high chair or stroller, though he tended to list to one side. Recently, his progress accelerated abruptly. Perhaps it was the increased amount of tummy time?

Last week, he was able to sit up when partially propped by pillows.

He was also able to use a stuffed toy for support.

Two days ago, he started to sit unassisted for a few seconds. He'd hold himself rigid, fingers sometimes clenched tightly to his toes or arms held stiffly in front, but will topple over quickly. He tended to topple to his front.


Yesterday, he discovered if he pulled himself upright, balancing his head over his center of gravity, it helped greatly. Here, he looked more natural and not so rigid, and he could sit up for a few seconds.

Today, he's able to sit unassisted for a couple of minutes. And look at the camera instead of concentrating hard in front of him.

And in the next scene...

tummy time..., originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Can you predict what would come out of our brilliant idea?

You see, he's been resistant to being on his tummy, vastly preferring instead to be standing up, supported by us, of course. Which is tiring. On a day with a good mood, he'd allow us to plop him face down on the mattress, then he'd squeal for a couple of minutes, before squeals becomes fussiness which become all out cries: "Let me up! What makes you think I like to be on my tummy? It's so boring down here!"

So today, when we were re-arranging the furniture, we lowered his mattress height, and got out the alphabet tiles made of soft foam. When we were doing this, he looked very interested and curious, no doubt attracted by the snazzy colours and big blocky shapes. So we thought, why not put him on his belly overlooking the edge of the bed?

Which worked.

Well, kinda. He was happy, not fussing for quite some time, staring at the colourful new things he'd never seen before, and then we turned our backs to do some re-arranging and packing.

Then we heard a dull thud, and then a scream. He had fallen over.

Fortunately for us, he seems to have a high pain tolerance; picked him up, cuddled him for a bit, and he was back to normal, looking like nothing had happened to him. Guess he was more shocked that something strange happened to him, than actually hurt. I guess the padding helped.

ReNe: 1st public meltdown

So far, we've been lucky. Ryan can scream like a banshee at home but he will hold in his frustration while outside. At most, he would fuss a little. Until today.

We went to Ikea today and he just wasn't able to nap properly. Perhaps it was the crowds and overstimulation, or perhaps it was the different stroller -- a friend gave us their old stroller and we tried it out instead of his usual stroller. In any case, by the time we finished lunch and were shopping, he was starting to get tired and fussy, demanding to be held and refusing (loudly) to be strapped into his stroller. By the time we paid, he was wailing away. We settled onto one of the couches in the lobby while waiting for the shuttle bus that would bring us back to the subway station, and he managed to sleep for about 20mins in my arms. It was hardly enough and he woke up as we got down from the shuttle bus. For a while, he was quiet and ok, then on the train back, he started to fuss and then, proceeded to have a total meltdown, ultrasonic screams and all.

Standing (because he screams louder if I sat down) and jiggling him with all the stares of the other train passengers on me, it was, for me, a little embarrassing. When I was single, I would not think too kindly of parents with screaming kids in public; now I am much more understanding of their plight.

ReNe: buskerfest 2009

Toronto's Buskerfest (27-30 Aug) was on last weekend, in front of St Lawrence Market. We strolled down the first evening (Thurs), and even though we didn't see anything very much, we liked it enough to go back down the next evening. Actually, it was also because we didn't see anything that we wanted to go back again.

The great thing about street performances is that it's free (of course donations are welcome) and the atmosphere is fun and lively. The not-so-great thing is that unless you're there early to grab a good spot, it's hard to see what's happening...

Festive and quite crowded. Lots of booths in addition to the buskers. I got a free women's razor.


A 'sculptor clown' called Pedro Tochas.


We heard about this Alakazam guy -- he's able to squeeze his body through a tennis racket, squash racket and toilet seat -- but the crowd was so thick we weren't able to see his performance. In this photo below, that's a squash racket around his waist!


We managed to catch a front row performance for the Piano Juggler's performance. It was humorous and well-paced, and Ryan apparently likes it as well. I was quite surprised he watched the entire half hour long performance quietly; then again, he does like watching things being thrown in the air. When we toss his toys in the air, he usually laughs. I suppose this 'like' is cute now but it won't be a year from now when HE starts to toss things into the air...



I've never been a huge fan of street performances but since coming to Toronto, I'm starting to appreciate them more. The piano juggler's performance was the first for which I sat through from start to finish, and actually left a small sum of money at the end. =)

At the playground

At the playground, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

We've established a daily routine of sorts. He'd wake us up early in the morning (even though we're not ready), and then we'd play with him and have breakfast, until it's time for his nap. Then he sleeps until our lunchtime, during which we'd do our own thing.

After lunch, small playtime, followed by a nap. And depending on whether we feel like a small or large outing, we'd either let him nap at home, then walk out after that, or let him nap in the stroller.

This last weekend, we went to Kensington Market, a good 40+ min walk, just the right time for one of his sleep cycles.

This photo was taken at the playground near the Market.

ReNe: 3.75 months -- regarding playtime

This is quite challenging -- what to do with Ryan when he's not sleeping or eating. At this stage he still loves to look at things more than anything else, and while he was satisfied with our drab apartment in his first couple of months, he quickly got bored of it. In other words, he wants to look at new things but he still not in the stage where he wants to sit down and grab stuff (much). He is starting to, though...

Now that the weather is still pleasant, I try to bring him out almost everyday, whether it's down to the drop-in center in our building or a quick walk to the supermarket nearby to buy groceries. We go to the park sometimes, and occasionally, a further trip downtown. He loves going out now; strapping him into his carrier or stroller evokes an almost Pavlov-like reaction and he gets this happy, expectant look on his face, arms windmilling. If he was fussing before, strapping him into his carrier or stroller practically guarantees he will shut up. Sometimes we take a little too long in leaving the apartment, and he will start fussing again until the exact second we exit the door.

As mentioned, there is a drop-in center in our building and it's great. It's a large room with toys and books where parents with babies and toddlers can drop by on weekday mornings. As it's within the same building, I often bring Ryan down for a short while, then up for a quick nap, and then back down again for another hour before the center closes. He's still not too interested in the toys but he loves to look at the other babies. It's also a great place for me to meet other moms and socialize. As we're in a foreign country, one of my biggest worries for Ryan was the potential lack of socialization -- I need not have worried. There are many families with children in the university family housing, where we stay, and already we regularly meet three other babies (and moms) who all were born within a month apart at the center. Plus, the large library of play resources available means we don't have to buy him so many toys. Best of all, it's completely free.

We are also of the opinion that he should learn to play by himself -- it's a tricky balance between paying attention to his needs and wants, and yet not being his sole source of entertainment.; not neglecting him and yet carefully ignoring him at certain times so he can explore by himself. We have noticed that he tends to start the day in a very good mood and gets more testy as the day progresses; for example, when he first wakes up in the morning, I can generally leave him by himself in his chair as I make breakfast, and he's fine simply observing me for up to an hour. However, by the evening, he will not even sit down in his chair for two minutes before kicking up a fuss.

His chair...
(The chair was given by a friend, and so was the toy block, which was one of a large set. So far, we have only bought him a total of two toys.)

When we started putting him in this chair a couple of weeks ago, he wasn't quite able to hold himself upright yet and would slump against the back. Lately he is starting to sit more upright, leaning forward from the back (of the chair). Also, while we've been placing toys in front of him for a while, it was only very recently that he started to reach for them. Typically, his method of exploration goes like this: examine first with eyes, then mouth. Repeat until bored.

At the Harbourfront

At the Harbourfront, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

The Toronto harbourfront is quite beautiful, and amazing in the sense that for us who have had little prior experience with lakes, looking out onto Lake Ontario looks more like looking out into an ocean. In terms of the built up landscape, certainly VivoCity Singapore has a better thought out infrastructure and amenities. But then, VivoCity also is too caught up in the grips of the consumerist machine for my taste - it's like a huge, monopolising behemoth focussed on taking your money. Toronto's harbourfront, in contrast, is more like a warren of separate businesses, huddled together in the same place, and revelling in the frequent arts, music and just-for-fun festivals that take place year round. People go to the Toronto waterfront for more than just to deliver money to the local tenuously-linked-to-the-government business. They celebrate the seasons, cultural diversity (and a real one, I must add, not state held rigid boundaries like C/I/M/O (wtf is up with 'O'?)), actually sail boats, and thoroughly enjoy themselves.

Anyway, enough soapboxing. This photo was taken at Toronto's harbourfront, and I like it. Do you? :)

mother & son

mother & son, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan loves his walks. Or rather, loves the times he is taken out of the apartment and carried while we walk. He loves it so much that sometimes, he gets quite flustered and fussy if he does not get out. Like today; Serene brought him out, and met me downstairs after I ran an errand. We decided to go slightly further with him, but after I put down some stuff I was carrying. We went back up to the apartment, and as soon as he realised that his walk had been shortened, he started to throw a tantrum until we got his stroller out the door, at which point he magically quietened down, and almost put on a grin on his face. That's how we know he likes going out very much.

I wonder how he'd like going out when it is -20ºC in winter.

ReNe: 3.5 months -- regarding sleep

As Mike mentioned in the last post, we've been trying to work on Ryan's sleep. He sleeps very well at night. We put him to bed around 7+. I would feed him a couple of times through the night, during which he suckles automatically and goes back to sleep right after, and sleeps all the way through until 7am the next day. However, his day naps were not as good, though we figured we shouldn't worry too much because at least he gets a good night's rest.

Then a couple of weeks ago, he started sleeping less and less during the day, until he was only managing 30min naps. And getting quite cranky. Plus, there was a lot of work on our part to actually get him to sleep (rocking, jiggling, singing, sling, etc.) We even though about buying a c-clamp and rigging up some hammock-like arrangement with the sling, yet we sort of knew all these weren't the answer. He'd outgrow the sling quite soon and plus, are we prepared to do all these for the next few years??

I came across mentions of this book 'Baby Whisperer' by Tracy Hogg online; read excerpts and browsed the forums. We tried out the EASY routine she recommends when Ryan was about 4 weeks old and it worked pretty well, only it started to break down when he was about 3 months. At this point, I decided to buy and read the book, instead of reading snippets here and there online. (It turned out the reason our routine wasn't working was because it was suggested for a baby younger than 3 months; older babies would feed less and stay up for longer, necessitating a different routine.) She has very solid, practical advice. For example, she says to "start as you mean to go on"; so if we don't plan to rock Ryan to sleep for the next few years, or continue the use of 'props' (Tracy Hogg's term) such as the sling, we should stop it right now.

So we've been trying out the advice in the book, and so far it's been going along pretty well. Our aim is to teach Ryan to sleep on his own, in his crib. That means no, or minimal, use of 'props' such as ourselves (jiggling, etc.). Also, we want him to take longer naps during the day, and that means he needs to know how to self-soothe and go back to sleep on his own when he wakes up after a sleep cycle.

Initially he would throw a huge tantrum whenever we put him down for his naps and he would take over 20mins, even up to 40mins, of pick-up/put-down (PU/PD) to settle down. I think he passed out more from exhaustion than sleepiness. But we kept at it and fortunately, at about 3.5 months old, Ryan's still not too set in his ways. After a few days, Ryan's now able to sleep mostly on his own. We keep a careful eye on the clock, make sure that some time before his expected nap time we start to wind down his activities and give him a chance to calm down. Then when he starts to display signs of sleepiness, we put him down in his crib and pat his back for a few minutes. Sometimes he kicks up a fuss, but generally he's out in about 5-10mins. Sometimes we'd give him his soft toy to gum on (or maul), mostly we would swaddle him. Most of the time now, we don't even have to do the PU/PD. Soon, I hope we won't even have to pat his back. We couldn't quite figure out how to extend his naps though, but strangely, he has started to nap up to 2 hours today. I don't know what it was we did exactly to enable that, but we're cautiously hoping he would continue this good trend.

In a sling

In a sling, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

Ryan's 15 weeks old this week, and at any stage of his life, he changes quite rapidly. Even though it felt like such a long time ago, it was barely 2 months ago when he could barely keep himself awake for more than 30 minute stretches, and his neck muscles were non-existent.

Right now, he sleeps fairly well, at night at least, from about 8pm to 7am the next day, waking up to feed once at 3am till about late last week, when we decided to cut out that feed. It was less traumatic than expected, and he adapted within 3 days, this morning surprising us by not even waking up for the 5am feed.

We've also been training him to fall asleep on his own, instead of us having to rock, jiggle, cuddle, or otherwise actively intervene in his falling asleep. In this picture, is our misguided attempt at getting him to fall asleep in the sling. It works, sure, but unless we were willing to use the sling until he is much older, we needed to teach him how to fall asleep on his own in his own crib, which we would have to do later anyway because he would soon outgrow the sling.

As I was saying, he has no difficulty falling and remaining asleep at night, he resists napping in the day, and wakes up 40-45 minutes into the nap, reliably (sleep cycle is 40-45 minutes in length), and then decides, quite angrily, that enough is enough, somebody better get him out of this silly crib or else... And he fusses and cries, till he is picked up, and then within seconds after he is picked up, he often can be seen smiling or cooing.

Which makes us wonder - is he so active and curious about what's happening around him that he absolutely detests falling asleep? He's so alert and easily bored that in the evenings, he gets fussy unless we bring him out for a stroll. And other parents we meet at the playgroup all remark that he is so alert, responsive and curious, always tracking the strangers and often cooing and seducing the women with his cuteness (men usually don't have the patience to coo to babies, and it would be totally weird for a male stranger to come cooing to a baby, actually).

So, to summarise; he's sleeping well, at night, and we wish he could nap longer, at least once or twice of his 3-4 daily naps. He is still terrified of baths, but that's the subject of another post.

Oh, and of course, enjoy the cute picture.

Swollen

Swollen, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

On Saturday evening, walking back from grocery shopping, I walked past a planter bed, when I suddenly felt something very painful at my left ankle, the front part which folds when the foot flexes (there's gotta be a better name than this, but I am not aware of it).

Initially, I thought it was some sort of ant, and from the pain, probably a large one. I bent over, to try to pick off the ant, and when I did, I found myself pulling off an insect with yellow shell. That was when I realised that I had been stung by a yellow jacket...

Besides a mild itch, Saturday night and Sunday morning was fine, enough that I decided to take a walk on Sunday afternoon, to see the Pedestrian Sundays at Kensington Market - that's when they close the roads off to vehicular traffic and hold street performances and celebrations at Kensington Market; this one in commemoration of the 2003 blackout which affected the Eastern Seaboard.

Coming home, my shoe felt distinctly tighter, and by Monday morning, the foot had swollen to the extent in the picture.

Walked to the hospital, waited 3 hours to see the doctor for 5 minutes, who proclaimed that it was unlikely to be infected because I had no fever, and that there was no pain at the site of the sting. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics which I was to fill if I had a fever, and asked me to get some non-prescription anti-histamine. Quite the letdown from the pronouncement of the triage nurse who said that I might have to have IV antibiotics because it looked infected.

So, right now, almost 20 hours after 50mg of diphenhydramine, I still feel slightly woozy, certainly not the sharpest I've been, but nowhere near as bad as a hangover. The foot itches on and off, and when it does, I feel as if I almost need to claw away the skin to get relief. I'm somewhat irritable, cos of the drowsiness, and I should not walk, to ease off the pressure on the foot, so, I feel very cooped up in apartment.

The boy's cries and fussiness have not been too helpful on my mood either. :(

So, overall, don't feel so good.

As a commentor on this picture on flickr says, I guess things can only get better?

Oh and by the way, if you look carefully, you might see my right small toe bruised from the box fan falling down on it... I tripped on the cable and caused it to fall on my foot. Bad weekend, I guess.

ReNe: happy 3 months! (belated)

Books and friends all talk about the 3 month mark like it's a magical milestone; I almost expect Ryan to 'grow up' with a swirl of lights, Sims-style.

Well, the change is of course more gradual. He's feeding a little less frequently, from 10x a day to 7-8x a day. He's sleeping less during the day though he still sleeps 12 hours at night. And, most significantly, he's a lot more active. I estimate he spends about 7-8 hours awake each day and since he doesn't play by himself for too long yet, we spend a lot of time playing with him or even just holding him. He doesn't mind sitting in his rocking chair and will babble to himself or stare at some toys I pinned to a curtain, but he will only play by himself for perhaps 10, 20 minutes. He absolutely hates to lie down (on the bed) when he's awake; probably because he can't see us.

So far it's still quite exhausting. Fortunately he sleeps through the night, but he's still keeps us very busy during the day. Taking care of him is far more tiring than any (full-time) job I've ever had! He's constantly in flux, growing and upsetting whatever routine we think we would have set up every few days.

He's a lot more chatty and playful now, definitely exhibiting more of a personality, which is starting to look quite stubborn. He would babble to us, his cries sometimes take on a petulant and whiny edge when we don't seem to get whatever he's complaining about, and he smiles often. Last week, he started laughing too, particularly when we play peek-a-boo (a game I never thought I would find myself playing, but it amuses him). His needs are more complex now; he actually gets bored if he sits in one place for too long.

Sharing a laff

Sharing a laff, originally uploaded by mike.tan.

So, he's playing favourites - one day he'd respond very well to me, chatting and playing, while shunning Serene after a bad feeding session, when it was more a fight than a feed.

Then, next day, after I almost drowned him (from his perspective at least, I use the shower so there was no danger at any time), I become the villain, and he would have long talks with his mother, and refuse to face me when I am presented in front of him.

This one time, Serene's the favoured one, and for some inexplicable reason, he's smiling and laughing, causing her to respond in kind.

Cute, hur?

ReNe: monorail cat

Have you ever seen lolcats?


We have our own monorail kitteh:

ReNe: berry cool

Summer so far has been quite cool. For example, today's maximum temperature is 22C (minimum 17C), tomorrow 23C. I remember summer last year to be sweltering; of course it cannot compare to Singapore's climate, but it got relatively sweltering for Toronto. So much so that this year we decided we won't make the same mistake as last year and we bought a window air-conditioner unit.

And of course this year, summer turns out to be pretty mild. It's already the end of July and temperatures outside still feels like that of an air-conditioned room.

On another note, I find myself developing a taste for berries. Back in Singapore, I'd only ever tried (fresh) strawberries (berry jams don't count) and I wasn't impressed at all. They were usually overpriced and sour. I was convinced though that if I could try them when they're really fresh, they'd be sweet. Not so; strawberries fresh from the vine at Cameron Highlands, and in Aomori in Japan, didn't taste much better. Less sour and they smelled great, but they were not sweet.

So I had given up, thinking strawberries are meant to be somewhat tart. Then this summer, craving fresh fruits, I started buying berries (not only strawberries but blueberries and raspberries as well) and they were actually sweet! I was quite astonished. They also freeze well and taste even sweeter when frozen. And they can be quite cheap; the other day I bought 3 pints of strawberries for $2. At the start of summer, a pint was going for $2.